So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
