I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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