She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
