me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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