12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
