Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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