If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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