he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
