Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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