Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
