awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I touched a dick in church today
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
