I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i drank out of a bidet.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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