Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
