so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
