I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
