Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
