haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
