Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize