Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Shame - the story of my life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
