YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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