I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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