Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need a burrito and a hug.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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