I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
