you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
