i wish my penis had a tongue
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
