Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize