i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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