That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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