And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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