i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
