Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
