New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
