The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
