do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
