Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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