I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
