someone threw a dead crab at me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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