I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
These tits shall not be calmed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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