Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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