I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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