Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
