You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
