I feel like abortions should bother me more
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize