I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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