Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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