I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
