): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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