help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
