Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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