He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
