Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
