Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
smell my finger.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
