when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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