everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
